One of the things that most resonated with me was when Ira talked about setting up bait for your audience. They should constantly be asking questions so that they stay engaged with the story. After hearing everyone's opinions on Monday, and listening to my story again, I realized that I want to stick with the serious and philosophical tone. I ask "why?" many times in the story, and hopefully my audience will also want to know the deeper significance of what I'm saying.
That being said, I also realized that the insertion of humor in my story made it weaker. Ira talks about how it can be hard to admit that something isn't working. Much as I wanted to make it work, I just don't think that the Louis CK clip works. Hopefully, by eliminating the clip, something in my own words can take its place and make the story better.
Finally, Ira talked about how one's recorded voice should sound like they are just talking. I still feel that my voice sounds a little stiff, and the insertion of the recording did not help. I want to re-record my story, keeping a serious tone while still being conversational.
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