Bluets

I found Nelson’s writing and form extremely interesting to read. The space between each number created a natural pause and allotted time for reflection. I think several of her sentences were profound, and that by creating separate propositions, she allowed the reader more time to think about their connection to the overarching problems she introduces along the way.

I personally enjoyed the variations in length of the propositions. I found that a number of the shorter numbers involved merely a sentence or two in question form. As the writer, she accomplishes an open ended kind of discourse and leaves the reader time to ponder those questions without being hurried on to the next sentence in the paragraph. I found it effective. In fact, I noticed that it took me longer to read this than it normally would because I gave myself time to question her thoughts, the propositions, and their connection to one another.

Style-wise, she’s extremely honest. I noted the honestly and frankness of her questions within the first few pages. For example, on page 15 she states, “And what kind of madness is it anyway, to be in love with something constitutionally incapable of loving you back?” She pairs that question with another in proposition 37: “Are you sure—one would like to ask—that it cannot love you back?” She is asking herself a question, then imaging a question as a response to her original. It feels personal and completely open. She’s not claiming to be sure of anything when it comes to the color blue. She’s honest about her doubts and her questions.

As I read the second half of Bluets, I began to see her make more notions of her intense heartache and depression. On page 51, she notes, “I don’t know how the jacarandas will make me feel next year. I don’t know if I will be alive to see them…” Further down on that same page, she says, “I have been going limp in the face of my heartache.” She notions death on page 52, saying, “It calms me to think of blue as the color of death.” Clearly, Nelson is grappling with very serious, very negative feelings. Near the end of the text, I think Nelson begins to point to the reader the ways in which her style of writing facilitates her own journey through these feelings.

In proposition 184, she makes note that her propositions “have been shuffled around countless times (71).” This to me seems intentional; like a very well-thought out maneuvering of thoughts. Perhaps Nelson wanted us as readers to jump from proposition to proposition so that we could mimic her personal battle of understanding her own thoughts and feelings.